On top of the thirty-foot stone wall at the West Gate of Black-Rock Border City, the night wind was cold and dry.
Three thousand Blood-Blade Mercenaries stood shoulder to shoulder along the battlements with notched crossbows and drawn broadswords.
In the center of the gate tower stood Commander Scar-Face, a Rank 3 Peak Martial Grandmaster wearing heavy iron-plate armor, and right beside him stood Lady Wang wrapped in her thick fox-fur cloak.
Down on the inside of the city gate, five hundred regular Black-Rock City guards—all local border boys whose cheeks were sunken from two months of half-rations—were held back at spear-point by the mercenaries. Behind the city guards pressed tens of thousands of starving townspeople, craning their necks and whispering anxiously.
“Look outside the wall! Torches! Thousands of torches are coming from the west!”
“Look at those big red shells gleaming in the moonlight! It’s the Scorpion Cavalry of Dry-Well City! The Ninth Young Master really came back!”
“Open the gate! Let the Ninth Young Master in!”
Up on the wall, Lady Wang’s face twisted with rage as she heard the townspeople cheering for Pei Xuan. She leaned over the inner parapet and spat down at the crowd.
“Shut your filthy mouths!” Lady Wang shrieked, her eight gold hairpins rattling violently. “Pei Xuan is a rebellious traitor who colluded with desert bandits to kidnap his own father! Commander Scar-Face, give the order! Any citizen or city guard who takes one step toward the gate winch will be shot on the spot!”
Commander Scar-Face raised his notched broadsword and let out a booming roar mixed with Rank 3 Internal Qi:
“Hear me, you starving rats! My three thousand Blood-Blade brothers have locked this gate with an iron chain as thick as a man’s waist! Anyone who whispers the name ‘Pei Xuan’ gets an arrow through the throat! And as for that little bastard outside the wall—if he dares ride within bowshot, we’ll turn him and his giant bugs into porcupines!”
Outside the West Gate, two hundred yards away, Pei Xuan’s army rolled to a halt right outside crossbow range.
Sitting on the back of Old Yellow, Pei Xuan looked up at the crowded battlements of Black-Rock City. With his Rank 4 Divine Sense and RTS tooltips, he could read the thoughts of every single person on and behind that wall as clearly as black ink on white paper!
General Tie Zhan rode his giant Scorpion King up beside Pei Xuan and hefted his heavyghost-head saber, his eyes blazing.
“My Lord, give the word!” General Tie Zhan growled. “You, Uncle Wei, and I can charge straight up the wall, smash that Scar-Face bastard into meat paste, and chop their iron gate chain in two breaths!”
“Whoa there, General Tie,” Pei Xuan laughed, raising a hand to stop him. “Why should we climb walls and dull our blades when there are eighty-five thousand honest folks inside who are dying to open the gate for us?”
Pei Xuan pointed at the battlements.
“Look closely at those three thousand mercenaries. Lady Wang promised them mutton for night duty, then fed them moldy dry bread to save three taels of silver. And behind them are five hundred local city guards who haven’t smelled real meat since last winter. Attacking with swords is what clumsy warlords do. Tonight, we attack their stomachs!”
Pei Xuan turned in his saddle and looked at the fifty kitchen wagons parked behind him.
On the first ten wagons sat Old Guo’s Giant Iron Cauldrons, currently bubbling with five thousand pounds of Red-Braised Pork Belly, Spiced Mutton Brisket, and Meat-Belly Giant Potatoes cooked in star-anise, cinnamon, rock sugar, and aged soy sauce.
Next to the kitchen wagons was the army’s marching band cart, carrying ten six-foot-long Brass War-Trumpets, along with ten hand-cranked Blacksmith Wind-Fans used for stoking the mobile forge fires.
Pei Xuan opened his Fusion Cube!
Into Slot 1, he placed the [10 Giant Cauldrons of Old Guo’s Red-Braised Pork & Mutton].
Into Slot 2, he placed the [10 Six-Foot Brass War-Trumpets].
Into Slot 3, he placed the [10 Hand-Cranked Blacksmith Wind-Fans].
“Fuse!” Pei Xuan tapped [YES] with a grin.
HUMMMMM!
His LP balance dipped from 600,000 to 520,000.
In a flash of golden light, the ten cauldrons, ten brass trumpets, and ten wind-fans fused together on top of the front wagons into ten gleaming, cannon-shaped contraptions made of polished brass and black iron:
Up on the wall of Black-Rock City, Commander Scar-Face saw the ten huge brass tubes rolling forward to the front of Pei Xuan’s line and immediately panicked.
“WATCH OUT! CANNONS!” Commander Scar-Face roared, ducking behind a stone parapet and pulling his iron shield over his head. “I heard he used six-barrel cannons to blast the Crimson Cloud Envoy out of the sky! Everyone get down behind the stone bricks! Brace for iron cannonballs!”
Lady Wang shrieked and dove under a wooden weapon rack, getting her eight gold hairpins tangled in a mop bucket.
Outside the gate, Old Guo laughed heartily, rubbed his fat hands together, and sent a stream of Rank 4 Furnace-Blood Fire straight into the fireboxes of all ten brass cannons. Then twenty burly kitchen helpers grabbed the iron cranks on the wind-fans and spun them with all their might!
“Fire the First Volley: Ten-Year Aged Soy-Sauce Braised Pork Belly!” Pei Xuan ordered.
THOOM—WHOOOOOOOOSH!
Instead of iron cannonballs or gunpowder smoke, ten thick, billowing pillars of warm, golden-white steam shot out of the brass trumpet barrels with a deep horn blast!
The ten pressurized clouds of steam arced three hundred yards through the cold night air, sailed right over the top of the West Gate wall, and blanketed the entire gate tower, the inner plaza, and three miles of streets inside Black-Rock City!
Behind his iron shield, Commander Scar-Face kept his eyes squeezed shut, waiting to be blown to bits.
Instead, a wave of warm, humid air wrapped around his face.
He accidentally took a breath through his nose.
Sniff.
Commander Scar-Face’s eyes snapped wide open.
That wasn’t gunpowder!
It was the rich, caramelized, mouth-watering smell of thick-cut pork belly slow-simmered for four hours in rock sugar, ginger, scallions, and dark soy sauce—where the fat had melted into jelly that dissolved on your tongue, mixed with golden potatoes soaked in spicy mutton gravy!
Because the Ten-Mile Aroma Cannons multiplied the fragrance fifty times over, breathing in that warm steam didn’t just smell like food—you could practically taste the hot, savory pork grease coating the back of your throat!
GULP.
Along the top of the West Gate wall, three thousand Blood-Blade Mercenaries swallowed their own spit at the exact same second.
The sound of three thousand throats gulping was louder than the night wind!
“M-Mother of mercy...” A burly mercenary corporal holding a crossbow started drooling so hard that a long silver string of saliva dripped right onto his bowstring. “Is that... is that red-braised pork belly with star anise?! I haven’t eaten red-braised pork since my wedding three years ago!”
“My stomach! Why is my stomach cramping?!” Another mercenary dropped to one knee, clutching his belly as it let out a roar like a starving bear. “That stingy witch Lady Wang only gave us half a piece of hard, moldy flatbread for dinner! Look at this piece of bread in my pocket—it has green hair on it! And outside the wall they have ten giant cannons shooting braised pork steam?!”
Right at that moment, Hong Ling hopped up onto the first brass cannon, took a deep breath with her Rank 4 Qi Gathering lungs, and shouted into the built-in brass megaphone on the side of the barrel:
“ATTENTION EVERYONE ON AND BEHIND THE WALL OF BLACK-ROCK CITY!”
Hong Ling’s crisp, booming voice echoed across every street and alleyway of Black-Rock City like thunder from thenine heavens:
“CITY LORD PEI XUAN HAS BROUGHT FIFTY WAGONS OF RED-BRAISED PORK BELLY, ROASTED LAMB BRISKET, AND HOT MEAT-POTATOES! ANY GUARD OR MERCENARY WHO DROPS THEIR WEAPON GETS TWO BIG BOWLS OF BRAISED PORK FOR FREE! AND THE FIRST TEAM TO OPEN THE WEST GATE AND TIE UP LADY WANG GETS THREE BOWLS OF MEAT PLUS FIVE SILVER COINS PER MAN—PAID IN CASH ON THE SPOT!”
To prove it, Hong Ling grabbed a wooden crate full of shiny silver coins and shook it right next to the megaphone horn!
CLINK-CLANK-JINGLE!
The crisp sound of real silver coins mixed with the heavenly smell of warm braised pork belly hit the defenders like a ten-ton warhammer.
Lady Wang crawled out from under the weapon rack with the mop bucket still stuck to her hairpins, screaming at the top of her lungs:
“Don’t listen to that little maid’s lies! Commander Scar-Face, shoot her! Shoot her right now! I promised your men twenty thousand taels of silver when we reach the East Gate!”
One of the mercenary captains on the wall wiped a waterfall of drool off his chin and glared at Lady Wang.
“Wait a minute, brothers!” the mercenary captain shouted. “When we guarded the mansion courtyard an hour ago, I heard her second son Pei Bao say they were going to ditch us outside the East Gate without paying the second half of our silver!”
“What?! That old witch was going to stiff us after feeding us moldy bread?!”
“Even if she doesn’t stiff us, Commander Scar-Face takes ninety percent of the silver and gives us two copper coins each! Out there, Lord Pei’s maid is offering five whole silver coins AND three bowls of red-braised pork right now!”
Down at the bottom of the inner gate stairs, the five hundred local Black-Rock City guards didn’t wait another second.
Their families were starving in the streets right behind them, and the smell of Old Guo’s braised pork had driven every man’s stomach completely insane!
“Brothers of the City Guard!” the local guard captain roared, his Loyalty bar flashing bright green at 92/100. “Why are we guarding this gate for a wicked stepmother who sold our emergency grain?! Beat up the mercenaries, open the gate for the Ninth Young Master, and let’s eat braised pork!”
“BEAT THEM UP! OPEN THE GATE FOR THE NINTH YOUNG MASTER!”
“WAIT! DON’T BEAT US! WE MERCENARIES WANT THREE BOWLS OF PORK AND FIVE SILVER COINS TOO!”
Before Commander Scar-Face could even swing his broadsword, the five hundred local city guards AND two thousand five hundred starving Blood-Blade Mercenaries turned around at the exact same time!
“Have you all gone crazy?! I am your Commander—” Scar-Face roared.
WHACK! BAM! THUD!
Forty-two of his own hungry mercenary sergeants tackled Commander Scar-Face from behind, sitting on his head, pulling off his boots, and tying him up like a trussed pig with three layers of hemp rope!
“Sorry, Boss! Your bounty is worth ten extra bowls of pork with double gravy!” his second-in-command yelled happily, slapping a dirty sock into Commander Scar-Face’s mouth.
Ten feet away, Lady Wang backed up against the flagpole in horror as fifty starving city guards and mercenaries charged toward her with glowing green eyes.
“Stay back! I am the Marchioness of the Iron-Wolf Marquisate! My brother is Count Wang of Red-River—”
“Grab her! Tie her to the flagpole before the West Gate crew beats us to the five-silver reward!”
“Wait! Look behind that barrel—Second Young Master Pei Bao is hiding there with gold candlesticks in his boots! Grab him too—maybe Lord Pei will give us a bonus pig’s trotter for catching a two-for-one combo!”
“AIEEEEEE! MOTHER, SAVE ME!” Second Brother Pei Bao squealed like a stuck pig as six burly soldiers yanked him out from behind the water barrel by his ankles, shaking four stolen gold candlesticks out of his boots.
Using torn bedsheets from the guard barracks, the soldiers tied Lady Wang and Second Brother Pei Bao back-to-back right onto the main flagpole of the West Gate tower, hoisting them ten feet into the air where they spun around like two fat sausages in the wind!
CREEEEEAK—CLANG!
Down below, the massive thirty-foot iron-bound wooden doors of Black-Rock Border City swung wide open, and the heavy drawbridge dropped across the dry moat with a thunderous BOOM!
Five hundred city guards and three thousand mercenaries ran out on both sides of the road, lining up in two neat rows on their knees with empty wooden bowls held high over their heads:
“WELCOME HOME, LORD PEI! WE TIED UP THE OLD WITCH AND HER SECOND SON ON THE FLAGPOLE! WHERE DO WE LINE UP FOR THE BRAISED PORK?!”
Sitting atop Old Yellow, Pei Xuan couldn’t help laughing out loud as he looked up at the West Gate flagpole, where Lady Wang and Pei Bao were dangling in bedsheets and kicking their legs in the air.
“Uncle Guo, set up the soup tables at the gate plaza and pay out the silver!” Pei Xuan called out, patting Old Yellow’s neck. “And General Tie—let’s ride to the Marquis’s Mansion. My dear Eldest Brother Pei Heng is still trying to sneak his silver wagons out the East Gate tunnel!”