By late afternoon, a bizarre parade rolled up to the misty stone gates of Green-Jade Valley, two hundred miles east of Dry-Well City.
At the front of the column crawled three massive Bulldozer Scorpion-Tractors, followed by Senior Brother Zhao driving Flying-Sword Tractor #1 and ten heavy supply wagons pulled by armor-plated giant scorpions. Marching alongside the wagons were five hundred Furnace-Blood soldiers led by General Tie Zhan, while Old Guo’s ten mobile kitchen carts brought up the rear, their chimneys puffing out the mouth-watering smell of simmering braised pork belly.
Tied securely to the front iron shovel-bucket of the lead Scorpion-Tractor—wearing bright yellow Debtor Vest #037 over his short red silk underpants—was the dignified Branch Master of Green-Jade Valley, Elder Huo Tianba.
“Hold up the token, Elder Huo,” Pei Xuan called out pleasantly from the top of the command wagon. “Open your mountain gate array so my auditors don’t have to waste dynamite.”
“I won’t! Even if you kill me, I will never open the sacred mountain gate of the Crimson Cloud Sect to mortal—” Elder Huo started to roar.
Before he could finish, Senior Brother Zhao leaned out of the seat of the Flying-Sword Tractor right beside him and whispered urgently:
“Master, are you crazy?! Look at the iron sign on Director Su’s wagon—if the army has to break the mountain gate array by force, they charge the home-owner a Fifty-Thousand-Spirit-Stone Demolition Fee! Right now your debt is two hundred thousand stones. If you add another fifty thousand, you won’t even get to drink the bone broth on Sundays—you’ll only get pickled turnip peelings!”
Elder Huo shuddered violently. Looking back at Abacus Su, who was already wetting the tip of his ink brush with a hungry smile, Elder Huo immediately raised his bound hands and pressed his Bronze Branch Master Token against the glowing rune pillar beside the canyon entrance!
HUMMMMM—SHING!
“Open! Open quickly! Don’t scratch the pillar!” Elder Huo yelled in panic as the thick white defensive mist parted to both sides, revealing a wide, green mountain valley filled with terraced herb gardens, a roaring waterfall, an iron-forging hall, and a grand sandalwood pavilion at the top of the hill.
As Pei Xuan’s caravan rolled into the main plaza of Green-Jade Valley, however, they didn’t see carefree Immortals floating on clouds.
Instead, they heard the sharp crack of leather whips!
WHIP-CRACK! WHIP-CRACK!
“Move your lazy legs, you worthless trash! Elder Huo wants fifty baskets of Blood-Iron Ore carried up to the forging hall before sunset! Anyone who drops a rock gets no cabbage soup tonight!”
Down in the muddy quarry pit and along the steep stone steps of the herb terraces, two thousand skinny teenagers and young men and women—aged twelve to twenty-five—were staggering barefoot under hundred-pound bamboo baskets of sharp iron ore.
Their gray cloth tunics were torn into rags, their shoulders were bruised and bleeding, and their faces were pale yellow from months of starvation.
Standing over them on a stone platform were three fat Inner-Valley Deacon Overseers (Rank 3 Peak Martial / Half-Step Rank 4), wearing greasy crimson silk robes and swinging barbed leather whips while snacking on roasted peanuts.
Up on the command wagon, Pei Xuan’s warm smile vanished. His eyes narrowed coldly as his RTS System scanned the two thousand miserable teenagers in the quarry:
Behind Pei Xuan, Old Wei’s single hand gripped the hilt of his heavy black-iron broadsword until the leather creaked.
“Young Master,” Old Wei growled, his scarred face dark with anger. “Look at that little boy at the bottom of the steps—he can’t be more than thirteen years old, and his feet are bleeding on the gravel! Those parents scraped together their whole life savings thinking their children were learning Immortal spells, and this old pig Huo turned them into starving mine mules!”
“General Tie,” Pei Xuan said, his voice quiet and icy. “Go take those whips away from those three fat Overseers. Break their whip-arms and put them in Debtor Vests #038, #039, and #040—Heavy Quarry Rock-Crushing Crew, twenty-year sentence.”
“YES, MY LORD!”
General Tie Zhan didn’t even wait for the wagon to stop. Now a Rank 4 Early Furnace-Blood cultivator with iron-hard bones, the burly general leaped thirty feet off the moving wagon like a falling cannonball!
BOOM!
General Tie landed right on the stone platform in front of the three fat Deacon Overseers, cracking the granite slab under his iron boots!
“Who are you?! How dare mortals trespass in Green-Jade—” the lead Deacon Overseer raised his barbed whip to lash at General Tie’s face.
General Tie’s iron-hard left hand shot out, caught the barbed leather whip in mid-air, and yanked the fat Overseer off his feet!
CRACK! BAM! BAM! BAM!
With three casual backhands of his armored gauntlet, General Tie Zhan smashed all three Deacon Overseers flat into the stone platform, snapping their whip-handles into splinters and knocking half their teeth out in two seconds flat!
Down in the muddy quarry, the two thousand starving handyman disciples froze in shock, dropping their heavy ore baskets as they stared at the armored giant standing over the unconscious Overseers—and then stared in total disbelief at the front of the lead Scorpion-Tractor, where the terrifying Branch Elder Huo was tied to a shovel bucket in a bright yellow vest and red silk underpants!
“Is... is that Elder Huo tied to that giant bug’s nose?!” a fourteen-year-old boy named Little Stone Xiao gasped, rubbing his dirty eyes. “And look behind him—that’s Senior Brother Zhao driving a plow made out of flying swords!”
Before the two thousand handyman disciples could figure out if they were dreaming, Abacus Su and fifty Furnace-Blood soldiers marched up the hill to Elder Huo’s luxurious sandalwood pavilion and used the Bronze Branch Token to unlock the heavy iron doors of the Green-Jade Branch Treasury.
Five minutes later, Abacus Su ran out onto the upper balcony waving his golden abacus in triumph!
“Lord Pei! The audit of the Green-Jade Branch Treasury is complete!” Abacus Su shouted down to the plaza, his spectacles shining like two small suns. “Inside Elder Huo’s private vault, we have recovered: One: Ten thousand two hundred low-grade Spirit Stones and fifty thousand taels of gold and silver stolen from the tuition fees of these handyman disciples! Two: Three hundred basic Rank 4 Qi Gathering spell and craft manuals, including the Basic Fireball Art, Spirit-Herb Planting Guide, Entry-Level Talisman Drawing, and Spirit-Iron Forging Basics—all locked in boxes covered in dust because Elder Huo refused to let the handyman disciples read a single page! Three: Forty thousand pounds of white spirit-rice and cured meat that Elder Huo was hoarding to sell on the black market while feeding the students boiled cabbage roots!”
Down in the plaza, the two thousand handyman disciples heard Abacus Su’s report, and their pale, thin faces flushed bright red with anger and grief.
“Our parents sold our family ox to pay my tuition fee!” a sixteen-year-old girl cried out, tears streaming down her dirt-streaked face as she glared at Elder Huo tied to the tractor bumper. “Elder Huo told us the sect had a famine and there were no books left in the library! For three years we ate rotten cabbage roots and dug iron ore until our fingernails fell off, while ten thousand Spirit Stones and three hundred manuals were rotting in his bedroom!”
“Beat him! Throw his stone statue into the river!” the two thousand teenagers shouted, picking up gravel stones from the ground.
“Hold on, everyone! Don’t waste your strength throwing rocks on an empty stomach!”
Pei Xuan stepped up onto the stone platform in the center of the valley plaza, holding a fused brass megaphone to his mouth.
At his wave, Old Guo and fifty kitchen apprentices rolled the ten steaming Mobile Kitchen Wagons right into the center of the plaza and lifted the heavy iron lids off twenty giant cauldrons!
WHOOOOOOOOSH!
A thick, heavenly cloud of white steam—fragrant with star-anise braised pork belly, rich beef bone soup, and golden roasted Meat-Potatoes—rolled across the entire Green-Jade Valley!
To two thousand starving teenagers who hadn’t tasted a single drop of oil or meat in three years, that smell was more intoxicating than Immortal nectar! Two thousand stomachs roared at the exact same second.
“Listen to me, young brothers and sisters of Green-Jade Valley!” Pei Xuan’s clear, warm voice echoed across the canyon through the brass megaphone. “My name is Pei Xuan, Lord of Dry-Well City! Today, the corrupt Green-Jade Outpost of the Crimson Cloud Sect is officially shut down, and Elder Huo has been sentenced to twenty years of pumping forge bellows in a yellow Debtor Vest to pay for his crimes!”
The two thousand handyman disciples cheered—and then looked at Pei Xuan nervously.
Little Stone Xiao stepped forward from the front row, bowing low with trembling hands. “Lord Pei... thank you for saving us from Elder Huo. Now that the sect branch is closed... are you going to send us back home? Our families sold everything to send us here to learn cultivation. If we go back empty-handed without knowing a single spell...”
“Send you home empty-handed? Why would I do that when Dry-Well City needs two thousand educated young engineers, alchemists, and spell-casters?” Pei Xuan laughed warmly and pointed up at the sandalwood pavilion, where two carpenter soldiers were already taking down the old sect signboard and nailing up a brand-new, gold-lettered wooden sign:
[ DRY-WELL VOCATIONAL TECHNICAL COLLEGE — GREEN-JADE CAMPUS ]
“Starting this very hour,” Pei Xuan announced loudly, “this valley is officially the Dry-Well Vocational Technical College, and I am your Principal! Every single one of you two thousand handyman disciples is hereby enrolled as a full-time scholarship student! Here are the four rules of our college:”
Pei Xuan held up four fingers:
“Rule One: Zero Tuition and Three Free All-You-Can-Eat Buffets Every Day! Nobody studies on an empty belly in my school! Braised pork, Meat-Potatoes, and Spirit-Well soup are free in the cafeteria morning, noon, and night!
Rule Two: Clean Dorms and Heated Mattresses! Tonight, you move out of those damp quarry sheds and move straight into Elder Huo’s sandalwood pavilions—four students per room, soft cotton mattresses, and hot running water!
Rule Three: Open Library for All! Tonight, I am fusing all three hundred basic spell, alchemy, and forging manuals into Illustrated Comic-Strip Textbooks! Whether you want to learn Fireball Spells, Spirit-Herb Farming, Talisman Drawing, or Iron Forging, every book is free to borrow!
Rule Four: Paid Internships! Starting next week, any student who helps forge tools, plant herbs, or draw talismans during afternoon shop class gets paid five silver taels a month in Dry-Well Grain-Notes that you can send straight home to your parents!”
For five full seconds, the entire Green-Jade Valley was dead silent.
Two thousand thin, ragged teenagers stared at Pei Xuan, then stared at the twenty giant cauldrons of glistening red braised pork belly and snow-white rice that Old Guo’s cooks were already scooping into huge porcelain basins.
Then, Little Stone Xiao dropped to his knees on the stone plaza and burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs.
“Free meat three times a day... all three hundred spell books open to read... and five silver taels a month to send home to my mother?!” Little Stone Xiao knocked his forehead against the stone steps until it turned red. “Principal Pei! My life belongs to Dry-Well College! Even if the Sect Master of the Crimson Cloud Sect comes down from the sky, I will never betray Principal Pei!”
“Long live Principal Pei! Long live Dry-Well Vocational College!”
All two thousand handyman disciples dropped to their knees in a tidal wave of tears and cheers!
Above their heads, two thousand floating RTS Loyalty bars shot straight up from gray into blinding emerald green—75... 82... 90... 95/100!
“Students, before you line up for your braised pork buffet,” Pei Xuan pointed his megaphone at the ten-foot granite statue of Elder Huo standing in the middle of the plaza fountain, “that ugly rock statue is blocking the cafeteria line. Who wants to help clear the space?”
“WE DO!”
Five hundred energized teenagers—their blood already boiling with hope—charged at Elder Huo’s stone statue with ropes and iron pry-bars!
HEAVE—HO! CRACK—SPLASH!
Within thirty seconds, the ten-foot granite statue of Branch Elder Huo was yanked off its pedestal, rolled across the terrace, and dumped headfirst into the roaring mountain river!
Tied to the front bumper of the Scorpion-Tractor, the real Elder Huo watched his statue sink to the bottom of the river while two thousand of his former handyman slaves lined up happily with giant bowls of braised pork and white rice.
When Old Guo walked past carrying a bucket of cold cabbage roots—the exact same rotten cabbage soup Elder Huo used to feed the students—and set it in front of the tractor bumper for Elder Huo’s supper, Elder Huo burst into tears so bitter they could have pickled cucumbers.
“Wait! Why do they get star-anise braised pork belly and I get cold cabbage roots?!” Elder Huo wailed around the wooden gag in his mouth as Old Guo untied his chin. “I am a Rank 4 Peak Branch Elder! Even in prison, I should get senior-management rations!”
“Senior-management rations?” Abacus Su walked over, tapping his golden abacus against Elder Huo’s knee. “Debtor #037 Huo Tianba, according to our audit, you currently owe Dry-Well City two hundred thousand Spirit Stones, and your Little Red Paper Flower count is Zero! Look at Debtor #216 Lin Cang and Debtor #002 Zhao Kuang over there—they get braised pork because they have Little Red Flowers! Until you pump ten thousand strokes on the forge bellows tonight to earn your first Red Star Sticker, your official ration is Grade-D Pickled Turnip Water!”
Right across the plaza, Senior Brother Zhao and Envoy Lin were standing behind a long wooden table piled high with the newly fused Illustrated Comic-Strip Spell Textbooks, wearing red silk ribbons across their yellow Debtor Vests that read [ VOCATIONAL COLLEGE TEACHING ASSISTANT ].
“Line up, line up! Two bowls of pork per student, and pick your major when you take your textbook!” Senior Brother Zhao shouted cheerfully through a small tin horn, his charcoal-drawn eyebrows dancing with pride as the young handyman disciples bowed to him respectfully. “If you choose the Agricultural Sword-Tractor Major, sign up with me! If you choose Basic Fireball & Boiler Stoking, sign up with Teacher Lin!”
Little Stone Xiao held his giant basin of braised pork and rice in one hand and picked up a brightly colored Spirit-Iron Forging & Fireball Comic Primer with the other. When he opened page one, the painted paper parrot on the corner of the page flapped its wings and squawked warmly:
“Welcome to Dry-Well Vocational Technical College, Student Xiao! Remember: eat two pieces of fat pork before circulating your blood-Qi so your dantian stays nice and oiled!”
“The book talks! And it doesn’t use any confusing ancient words!” Little Stone Xiao’s eyes lit up with pure wonder as he took a huge bite of tender, juicy braised pork belly. Instantly, the warm energy of the Meat-Potatoes and spirit-pork surged into his starved limbs, and a faint red spark of Rank 2 Bone-Tempering blood-heat flickered in his palms! “I just went up a small martial level from eating three bites of meat! Wait until we start afternoon shop class tomorrow!”
As the sun set over Green-Jade Valley and the two thousand students sat around bonfires eating their third bowl of braised pork and reading their new comic-strip spell manuals, Pei Xuan walked into the valley’s giant water-powered Sword-Forging Hall holding a bundle of repeating crossbows and fireball talisman blueprints.
“Teaching two thousand students to cast spells takes three days,” Pei Xuan murmured, his eyes shining as he looked at the giant waterwheel hammers in the forge. “What if I fuse something tonight that lets five thousand ordinary mortal farmers shoot Rank 4 fireballs the second they pull a trigger?”