The bridge of the two-hundred-mile flagship *Hammer of the Empyrean* was a cavernous cathedral of carved black void-iron and polished white star-marble.
Arch-Dominus Wu Ji stood atop the command dais, his sweeping imperial robes of gold silk billowing in the artificial breeze of three hundred circulating qi-scrubbers. In his right hand, he gripped the Grand Seal of the Concordat—a fist-sized sphere of pure, compressed astral jade that pulsed with the spiritual authority of fifty conquered star clusters. Behind him, four hundred Grand Patriarchs and Astral Inquisitors knelt in rows of absolute devotion, their foreheads pressed against the jade floor tiles.
Through the thousand-foot panoramic scrying crystal at the front of the bridge, the solar system lay sprawled before them like an unprotected jewel.
"Report from the scrying arrays," Wu Ji commanded, his voice rumbling with the resonant timbre of an eighth-stage Void Sovereign. "Identify the origin of the zettawatt energy bloom. Have the localized planetary lords assembled to beg for clemency?"
The Chief Astrological Surveyor, an ancient elder whose beard dragged along the floor in coiled braids, looked up from a swirling basin of liquid starlight.
"Arch-Dominus," the elder rasped, his voice trembling with deep bewilderment. "The planetary bodies of this system are... entirely covered in geometric metal webbing. We detect twelve million miles of superconductive star-jade busbars strung across interplanetary space. The dwarf planet Ceres has been girdled in a circumferential magnetic induction ring. The fourth planet possesses five automated ore-crushing smelters operating at continuous peak output. And the entire system’s power grid is currently drawing one point zero zero zettawatts of steady, balanced current."
Wu Ji sneered, his lip curling in contempt. "A civilization of vulgar mechanical primitives attempting to emulate the divine order of the Seven-Star Palace. They harness lightning like children playing with sparklers. Have our heralds transmitted the Supreme Edict of Absolute Submission?"
"We broadcasted the decree across all spiritual bands, my Lord," the Herald replied, bowing low. "We informed them that five hundred hundred-mile Grand Inquisitor Dreadnoughts have entered their sector. We demanded unconditional surrender of their anomalous energy generator, the dismantling of their void-webbing, and the delivery of ten billion tons of refined mineral tribute within three standard planetary rotations."
"And their reply?" Wu Ji demanded, eyes flashing with cold celestial lightning.
The Herald hesitated, swallowing hard. He tapped a jade projection crystal with an uncertain claw.
"Their... their response was not received through the spiritual ether, Arch-Dominus. It was transmitted across open-frequency industrial radio frequency one-hundred-twenty-one-point-five megahertz. The communication origin is a single biological entity approaching our vanguard at seventeen miles per second."
Wu Ji’s brow furrowed. "A divine immortal ancestor coming to offer parley?"
"Listen for yourself, my Lord," the Herald whispered, transferring the audio feed to the bridge’s resonant acoustic columns.
A burst of harsh, crackling static filled the vast cathedral. Then, a dry, flat, thoroughly unimpressed voice cut through the speakers:
*"Attention unidentified black wedge vessels occupying Jovian Orbital Sector Four. This is Municipal Public Works Foreman Austin. You are currently parked directly inside the inbound transit corridor for the automated Ceres-Jupiter helium-three freight convoy. You have not filed a Notice to Mariners. You are not displaying regulation amber navigation strobes. And your formation violates Section Twelve of the Interplanetary Transit and Safety Code regarding vessel clearance. Clear the corridor immediately or you will be cited and towed at owner’s expense."*
The grand cathedral bridge fell into a silence so profound that the hum of the void-engines seemed to die.
Four hundred Grand Patriarchs raised their heads, their jaws hanging slack.
Arch-Dominus Wu Ji stared at the acoustic column as if an earthworm had just crawled out of his gold goblet and ordered him to polish its shoes.
"Towed?" Wu Ji whispered, his voice rising in incredulous outrage. "He threatened... to tow... the Grand Armada of the Great Empyrean Void Concordat?"
"He also stated that the tow fee would be billed to our registered port of origin," the Herald added faintly, reading the teletype transcript. "Plus an overtime hazard surcharge of fifteen hundred spirit stones per vessel per hour."
Wu Ji’s aura erupted in a roaring blast of crimson spiritual pressure that cracked three nearby marble columns and set the velvet pennants on fire.
"Insolent mortal insect!" Wu Ji roared, pointing a trembling, ring-clad finger at the forward scrying crystal. "Magnify the approaching entity! I will watch his soul be flayed into ash before my very eyes!"
The thousand-foot scrying crystal flickered, zooming in across forty thousand miles of black void.
There, coasting smoothly through the vacuum on a trajectory straight toward the flagship’s bow, was a solitary figure.
No flying celestial sword. No lotus throne of carved spirit jade. No spinning halo rings of divine illumination.
Austin coasted forward in heavy canvas work pants with reinforced double-knees, a pair of steel-toed boots that looked like they had kicked through fifty tons of gravel, a high-visibility fluorescent orange safety vest with reflective silver stripes, and a bright yellow fiberglass hard hat. Bolted across his lower back was a massive rectangular framework of dull gray metal containing thirteen hundred pounds of certified lead ballast. Slung over his shoulder on a heavy nylon strap was a five-foot titanium-tungsten pipe wrench with an eight-inch hardened jaw.
And across his eyes, he wore a pair of dark Shade-14 oxy-acetylene welding goggles.
A translucent system notification hovered before Austin’s eyes as he coasted through the void:
Austin clicked his tongue against his teeth, checking the yellow carbon-copy violation pad clipped to his heavy leather tool belt.
"Five hundred ships," Austin muttered into his helmet comms, where Tie Kuang and Pug were listening from the Ceres station control room. "Zero reflective decals among them. They’re painted matte black. Matte black! In the middle of deep space! How is a sixty-thousand-ton automated ore barge supposed to spot them before it’s too late? It’s complete negligence."
*"Woof!"* Pug’s sharp bark crackled through the comm link, accompanied by the distinct crunch of a vacuum-dried bacon treat.
*"Boss,"* Tie Kuang’s rumbling voice came through. *"The automated sensors on Ceres show their lead cruisers are warming up spinal-mounted spatial siege cannons. Each gun is drawing sixty gigawatts of pure void-qi. They’re locking targeting arrays directly onto your coordinates."*
"They can lock onto whatever they want," Austin replied calmly, pulling a grease pencil from behind his ear. "I’m writing the citation. If they want to contest it, they can show up at the municipal courthouse on Ganymede on the third Tuesday of next month."
Aboard the *Hammer of the Empyrean*, Arch-Dominus Wu Ji could barely contain his fury.
"Vanguard Squadron Three!" Wu Ji bellowed through the fleet-wide tactical array. "Obliterate that yellow-capped parasite! Fire the Void-Cracking Particle Cannons! Leave not even his dust!"
At the front of the five-hundred-ship formation, thirty dagger-shaped destroyers rotated their prow-mounted siege lances. The airless vacuum shimmered as colossal magnetic compression rings along the hulls charged with blinding violet void-energy.
*THOOM. THOOM. THOOM.*
Thirty concentrated beams of near-light-speed antimatter particles, each fifty feet thick and carrying the kinetic energy of a multi-megaton thermonuclear blast, erupted from the vanguard warships. They converged upon Austin’s solitary silhouette with terrifying, blinding precision.
Across three hundred miles of space, the Void Concordat officers cheered, expecting to see the mortal vaporized into bare quantum foam.
The particle beams struck Austin at three hundred miles per hour.
Or rather, they reached a distance of three point three four millimeters from his belt buckle.
The moment the near-light-speed antimatter beams entered Austin’s photon sphere, the straight lines of light and mass ceased to travel forward. Seized by the ninety-G gravitational gradient and the fierce frame-dragging of his microscopic Kerr core, the thirty beams of blinding violet energy simply... bent.
They curved smoothly around Austin’s waist like water striking a polished brass sphere.
The antimatter particles did not detonate. The destructive void-runes did not detonate. Instead, the incredible flux of concentrated photons and charged leptons was captured in a perfect, glowing, purple-and-gold accretion ring that swirled around Austin’s hips at twenty-four feet per second.
Austin looked down at his waist.
The violet glow of thirty capital-class siege cannons was currently illuminating his tool belt with a pleasant, warm luminescence. His five-foot pipe wrench reflected the purple light with a clean, metallic shine.
"Well," Austin remarked, adjusting his welding goggles. "The ambient lighting on this job site was getting a little dim anyway. That saves on battery life for the headlamp."
The bridge of the *Hammer of the Empyrean* went dead silent.
Arch-Dominus Wu Ji’s jaw dropped so low his ceremonial beard touched his golden belt buckle. The Grand Patriarchs fell backward off their knees, staring at the panoramic scrying crystal in pure, unadulterated cosmic horror.
"He... he absorbed thirty capital particle cannons?" the Chief Astrological Surveyor shrieked, tearing at his hair. "Without a divine barrier? Without a spatial-tearing talisman? He caught thirty blinding antimatter lances... on his belt buckle?!"
"Look at the light!" an Inquisitor screamed, pointing a trembling finger at the display. "The light does not reflect from him! It orbits him! The cosmic laws of optics have been shattered! That is not a mortal... that is an ancient, old-as-dirt stellar horror disguised in the raiment of a yellow-capped laborer!"
Out in the void, Austin brought his boots to a gentle stop against the bow armor of the leading Concordat destroyer.
His steel-toed boots made contact with the ship’s three-foot-thick black void-iron hull.
*CRACK.*
With thirteen hundred pounds of certified lead ballast and ninety Gs of localized surface gravity, Austin’s boots hit like cast-iron pile drivers. The void-iron deckplates beneath his feet buckled inward with a violent metallic groan, spiderwebbing with deep stress fractures across a thirty-foot circle.
Austin didn't notice the damage. He pulled a red carbon-copy sheet from his violation pad, licked the tip of his grease pencil, and began writing with firm, deliberate strokes.
He walked over to the ship’s primary sensor blister, pulled a roll of industrial-strength duct tape from his belt, and slapped the red citation directly over the warship’s main targeting optics.
The citation read:
**MUNICIPAL NOTICE OF CITATION & TOW WARNING** *VIOLATION: Obstructing Commercial Transit Corridor (§ 14-B)* *FINE: 500,000 Spirit Stones per vessel* *CORRECTIVE ACTION: Disperse formation immediately and proceed to Outer System Holding Anchorage.* *ISSUING OFFICER: Austin (Foreman, Local 404)*
Austin smoothed down the duct tape with the palm of his work glove, gave it two firm pats to ensure adhesion in hard vacuum, and stepped back to admire his work.
"There," Austin said, turning back toward the remaining four hundred and ninety-nine warships. "Now you’ve been properly served."
Aboard the flagship, Arch-Dominus Wu Ji’s eyes were bloodshot with hysterical rage.
"ALL FLEET BATTERIES!" Wu Ji screamed, spraying golden saliva across the scrying basin. "FIRE EVERYTHING! LAUNCH THE SPATIAL ANTIMATTER VOID TORPEDOES! TEAR THAT CORRIDOR APART!"