Screw Loose Novels
Stellar Slacker: I Thought This Was an Idle Game! • Ch. 31
Stellar Slacker: I Thought This Was an Idle Game!Arc 2

Chapter 031: Step Onto the Sand

1,710 wordsUse ← / → keys to navigate

The noon sun beat down on the Grand Arena of the Second Spire.

Ten thousand spectators packed the circular tiers of white stone. Disciples from all seven peaks waved colorful silk banners, chanted fighting anthems, and argued about betting odds. Elders in embroidered robes sat on high floating platforms, stroking their beards with smug expressions.

Down in the center of the arena, the air shimmered with dry heat.

Julian of the Spellblade Order stood in the middle of the sand. He wore shining golden lamellar armor that caught the sunlight from every polished angle. At his hip hung the Sun-Cleaving Broadsword, a six-foot blade of heavy red steel that radiated steady waves of sword mana.

Julian rested both gauntleted hands on the pommel of his massive blade. He looked like an ancient war god posing for a high temple mural.

"Disciples of the Second Spire!" Julian's voice boomed through an amplifying talisman pinned to his collar. "Today marks the annual Academy Assessment! For too long, our sacred institution has carried dead weight!"

The crowd in the eastern stands roared in approval. Junior disciples pounded their wooden bench seats with their fists.

Julian smiled, enjoying the sound of his own name echoing off the high stone walls. He raised a hand to silence them, soaking in every drop of drama.

"A true cultivator seeks glory through discipline, blood, and sleepless nights of meditation!" Julian shouted, pacing across the crushed sand. "Yet on the Seventh Spire, a squatter sleeps past midday! He ignores the bell! He disdains the morning sword drills! He mocks the very foundations of the Spellblade Order!"

Julian pointed his heavy finger toward the northern competitor tunnel.

"Today, I shall demonstrate the divine justice of the blade!" Julian declared, his chest puffed out beneath his golden breastplate. "I shall teach Solitude Spire that laziness has no shelter beneath the heavens!"

The crowd cheered again. Banners snapped in the wind. Several senior elders on the high balconies nodded in solemn agreement.

Then, from the dark mouth of the northern tunnel, came the faint sound of dragging footsteps.

*Scritch. Scritch. Flap.*

The noise had none of the crisp click of enchanted leather boots or the heavy clank of plated steel.

It was the distinct, lazy scrape of worn straw soles sliding over loose grit.

The cheers in the arena slowly died down. Ten thousand heads turned toward the dark archway.

A tall, thin young man stepped into the blinding sunlight. He wore loose gray linen pants tied with a frayed hemp cord and an oversized cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows. On his head sat a wide-brimmed farmer's straw hat, tilted so low that only his mouth and chin were visible.

On his feet were two frayed straw slippers that had clearly seen better days. The heel of the left slipper was held together by a loop of green garden twine.

Felix Vance squinted against the bright light and let out a tired sigh.

"Man," Felix muttered to himself, shuffling forward across the sand. "The brightness slider in this zone is way too high. Who set the ambient lighting to maximum?"

He pulled his cracked obsidian slate from his pocket with his left hand. His right hand remained shoved comfortably into his trouser pocket.

Two steps behind him, Lyra Ashford walked onto the sand. She wore her clean white disciple tunic, her slender rapier buckled neatly at her hip. In her hands, she carried a small, round wicker lunch basket with a clean blue cloth folded across the top.

Her posture was straight as an iron needle. Her golden eyes swept across the ten thousand spectators with calm, absolute disdain.

To Lyra, these shouting crowds were like rowdy toddlers making noise outside a sleeping dragon's cave. They had no idea who had just walked onto their playground.

*Senior Brother Vance has deigned to grace this dusty pit with his presence,* Lyra thought, her heart swelling with solemn pride. *Back at the cottage, he was so peaceful. He even made sure Barnaby had his black rubber stopper in place so the owl would not disturb the sleeping garden. He adjusted the table against the Sovereign Heart Seal, drank half a cup of water, and then walked down here purely out of cosmic grace.*

She glanced at the noisy crowd with pity.

*These mortals believe this is a duel,* she thought. *They cannot see the void stretching behind his heels.*

Felix, meanwhile, was just checking his step counter.

He tapped the screen of the AetherDeck. A small amber interface hovered an inch above the glass.

DEV CONSOLE
STANDALONE HOST
[AETHERDECK OS: ACTIVE QUEST TRACKER]
Quest Name: Campus Commute (Daily Limited)
Objective: Reach the Grand Arena before 12:00 PM
Status: Arrived (11:58 AM) [OBJECTIVE COMPLETE]
Base Reward: 500 Gacha Crystals
Bonus Loot: 1x Slacker Beanbag Chair (Plush Memory Foam)
Extra Item: 1x Tin of Premium Cloud-Mist Mountain Tea
Notice: Claim reward after event conclusion.

Felix nodded in quiet satisfaction.

"Good," Felix whispered. "Five hundred crystals just for walking down a hill. That is free real estate."

He glanced up slightly, tilting his slate toward Julian. The built-in HUD of the AetherDeck snapped two glowing brackets over Julian's gleaming armor:

【Target: Julian of the Second Spire】 【Class: Spellblade Adept (Tier 6 - Peak Silver Core)】 【Equipped Weapon: Sun-Cleaving Broadsword (Grade 4 Heavy Steel)】 【Current Mood: Highly Theatrical / Extremely Agitated】 【Inspector Note: Wears too much gold. Armor has terrible joint flexibility. Low mobility build.】

Felix snorted softly under his breath.

"Heavy armor build with zero agility stats," Felix muttered. "Classic noob mistake."

Across the arena sand, Julian's face darkened into an ugly shade of crimson.

He had spent the last twenty minutes building up his grand speech. He had positioned his cronies in the bleachers to lead the cheers. He had polished his golden lamellar armor for three hours this morning until his reflection shone like a mirror.

And his opponent had showed up in house slippers, reading a slab of rock.

"Felix Vance!" Julian bellowed, his voice trembling with genuine rage. "You dare present yourself before the Second Spire in such wretched attire?!"

Felix didn't look up from his screen. He was watching the little digital clock in the top-right corner.

11:58:42 AM.

"Hey," Felix said, his voice flat and bored. "Keep it down. The echo in here is terrible. Some of us have headaches."

A collective gasp rippled through the spectators.

"Did he just tell Brother Julian to keep it down?" a junior disciple in the front row squeaked, leaning over the stone railing. "In the middle of an official challenge?!"

"He has no spiritual energy at all!" another disciple scoffed. "Look at him! He looks like a failed farmer looking for his lost goat!"

Julian gripped the hilt of his Sun-Cleaving Broadsword until the leather wrap creaked. White-hot qi flared along the edges of the blade, melting the sand around his iron-shod boots into glassy beads.

"You insolent dog!" Julian snarled, his eyes burning with fury. "You hide behind the reputation of Solitude Spire while our blades protect the outer border! Do you think a few cheap rumors will save you today?!"

Felix rubbed his thumb across the slate's glass.

11:59:15 AM.

"Almost there," Felix muttered under his breath.

Julian took a heavy step forward. The ground beneath his boots cracked, sending spiderweb fissures through the arena floor.

"I am Julian of the Spellblade Order!" Julian shouted, raising his broadsword high into the air. "Master of the Blazing Dawn Form! First Seat of the Inner Court! I offer you one chance to kneel, surrender Solitude Spire's peak charter, and beg for the academy's mercy!"

The crowd held its collective breath.

Elder Raymond, sitting on the eastern judge platform, stroked his silver beard and nodded to his peers. "Julian's sword aura has reached the absolute peak of the Sixth Tier. His solar blade intent is razor-sharp. That squatter boy won't last two seconds once the steel swings."

On the sand, Felix let out a tiny, soft yawn.

He tapped the screen twice to clear an annoying banner notification for a weekend seasonal event.

11:59:50 AM.

11:59:55 AM.

Julian's muscles coiled like steel springs. The golden light around his sword flared into a blinding halo of crimson heat.

"Since you choose death," Julian roared, "prepare to be purged by the morning sun!"

11:59:59 AM.

*Ding!*

A crisp, cheerful chime rang directly into Felix's ears. The obsidian slate lit up with bright golden text and a little animated bento box bouncing on the glass:

DEV CONSOLE
STANDALONE HOST
[DAILY LUNCH LOGIN BONUS: AVAILABLE NOW]
Server Time: 12:00:00 PM Sharp
Login Streak: Day 184 (Active)
Collected Items:
• 100x Daily Energy Biscuits (Stamina Restore)
• 50x Standard Gacha Prisms
• 1x Double XP Scroll (30 Minutes)
Daily Tip: Remember to stretch your legs every two hours!

Felix smiled for the first time all morning.

"Nice," Felix whispered, tapping the claim button with his thumb. "Login streak preserved. I didn't lose the consecutive day bonus."

Julian stared at Felix across forty paces of sand. His jaw worked silently for a moment, completely stunned by the total lack of fear, respect, or even basic eye contact.

"Are you finished?" Julian asked, his voice shaking with absolute murder.

Felix finally looked up from his screen. He tilted his straw hat back with the tip of his thumb, looking at Julian like a tired convenience store clerk dealing with an unruly customer at closing time.

"Yeah, I'm good," Felix said casually. "Are you going to do something, or are we just standing in the sun? My slippers are getting full of sand."

Julian's teeth clicked together so hard a speck of blood appeared on his lip.

High above the arena, the chief arbiter raised a gilded mallet toward the brass combat gong.

"Combatants ready!" the arbiter's voice echoed through the stadium. "Assessment duel begins on the strike!"

Lyra stepped back five paces, folding her hands neatly over her lunch basket.

She didn't draw her rapier. She didn't put up a protective barrier. She simply took a deep, steady breath and closed her eyes, ready to witness whatever cosmic byproduct her Senior Brother was about to unleash upon the poor fools before them.

VIP AccessPatreon Advance Queue

Can't Wait for the Next Chapter?

The entire 10-season, 250-chapter saga is 100% complete! Support Lord Screw Loose on Patreon to read up to 100 chapters ahead, download complete Arc Omnibuses, and get stamped by Chief Inspector Pug.

Unlock Advance Chapters