Clack-clack-clack-DING!
Abacus Su slid the final golden bead across the top row of his abacus, pulled a five-foot sheet of yellow paper from his leather scroll case, and held it right in front of Deacon Liu’s dripping nose.
“Here is your final consolidated statement, gentlemen,” Abacus Su said in a crisp, polite voice, as if he were handing a tea bill to three honored customers at an inn. “Earlier, your airspace violations, noise pollution, and pigeon casualties totaled six hundred and forty thousand Low-Grade Spirit Stones. However, out of respect for the Four Great Immortal Sects, our Lord Pei has generously granted you a First-Time Visitor Discount on the administrative fees, bringing your direct property damage bill down to a flat three hundred thousand Low-Grade Spirit Stones.”
Abacus Su tapped the bottom of the scroll with his red ink-brush.
“Allow me to read the four main items: Item One: Bruising two royal egg-laying spirit-ducks and causing three years of psychological egg-loss—one hundred thousand Spirit Stones. Item Two: Cracking four Rank 4 Glazed Water-Locking Tiles on the rim of the Royal Duck Pond—eighty thousand Spirit Stones. Item Three: Unauthorized swimming and mud-stirring in municipal drinking water—fifty thousand Spirit Stones. Item Four: One swing of the Continental No-Fly Swatter Grid, including magnetic array depreciation and guard labor—seventy thousand Spirit Stones. Total due immediately: 300,000 Low-Grade Spirit Stones. Cash or storage-pouch transfer accepted!”
