Down on the scorching concrete of Planet #71-A’s spaceport, thirty million settlers froze when they heard Pei Xuan’s voice echo from the flagship train’s loudspeakers.
Put five pressure-cooker safety lids on the stars before lunch?!
The old Chief Astronomer nearly swallowed his own white beard. He grabbed his melted bronze horn and shouted back up at the sky: “My Lord! That is not a kitchen soup pot! That is Old Mother Ember #1! Its diameter is eighty million miles across, and the pressure inside its core is enough to crush diamond into dust! If you fly close to its north pole right now, the radiation jets will melt Rank 8 Star-Iron like butter!”
Up in his hidden stealth shuttle behind the moon, Supreme Elder Jin Bao heard Pei Xuan’s announcement over the public broadcast frequency and laughed so hard he slapped his knee.
“A pressure-cooker lid?! Hahaha! Did this mortal bumpkin fry his own brain eating too much hot-pot?!” Jin Bao zoomed his crystal broadcast camera straight onto Pei Xuan’s train. “Broadcast this live to all ninety neighboring systems! Let everyone hear the ‘Great Lord of Dry-Well Village’ claim he can stop five Chain-Reaction Supernovas with kitchen valves! Furthermore—to reward his stupidity—I’m going to speed up the Blood Nails right now!”
