WHIRRRRR—CLANG! WHIRRRRR—CLANG!
Five roaming stellar-mass black holes—each ten miles wide and weighing as much as a hundred suns—spun on the ends of colossal black-iron chains like five apocalyptic meteors!
Every time Old Monster Ming swung his skeletal arms, the five chained black holes ripped long, jagged scars across the fabric of space, sucking in stray comets and crushing them into flashes of purple lightning!
On the rim of Galactic Sewage & Qi-Recycling Plant #1, Elder Hei Tun held his Star-Iron Gravity Plunger with both hands and shouted up at his former boss:
“Grand Patriarch! Stop! Put down those five dirty black holes and listen to me!” Elder Hei Tun patted his clean, smooth cheek and pointed proudly at his bright yellow Sanitation Worker Vest. “Look at my skin! Feel my aura! You lied to us for three thousand years! Not taking a bath doesn’t help our cultivation at all—it just gives us meridian rot and body lice! Come down here and let Chef Guo wash you with the Pomelo-Leaf Hose and teach you the Supreme Black-Hole Plumbing Scripture!”
Up in the dark storm cloud, Old Monster Ming nearly choked on his own spit.
He was a Rank 9 Mid Peak (Peak Mid-Galactic Realm) terror who had ruled twelve dark galaxies with an iron fist for eight millennia! His hair was matted into thick, greasy dreads stuffed with bone ornaments, his black iron armor was caked with ten thousand years of dried space-sludge, and the smell rolling off his body was…
