The underground granite floor shook like a drumhead as thirty boulder-sized molten stone fists rose into the air!
Radiating surges of dry volcanic heat from the glowing orange magma veins across their chests. The thirty twelve-foot-tall Rank 2 Peak Lava-Rock Golems stomped forward in unison, their grinding stone voices echoing off the vaulted cavern roof:.
“INTRUDERS... DETECTED... CRUSH...
INTO... ASH!”
“Dad!” nine-year-old Gu Nian , at Rank 2 Peak, called out calmly, stepping forward in his yellow bunny slippers with his rectangular [Fused Cast-Iron Pencil Case] raised in his right hand. “Nuannuan and I can hold the front fifteen golems off for ten minutes while you climb the black pillar!”
“And Auntie Qin and I will take the flanks!” twenty-four-year-old Auntie Qin stepped beside the two children, her slender hands moving in a graceful alchemical seal. She released a cooling curtain of [Hundred-Herb Frost-Dew Mist] that made the lead golem’s molten stone knuckles hiss with white steam.
Sixty-two-year-old Grandpa Fu tossed his copy of the Frost-Pine Agricultural Plowing Manual to Gu Changsheng and swung his heavy black-iron abacus against the second golem’s shin with a resonant CLANG!
“Don’t break their stone fingers, Nian’er, Nuannuan!” twenty-nine-year-old Gu Changsheng laughed as he caught Grandpa Fu’s plowing manual in one hand. “Those stone fingers are going to be pulling our ten-share iron plows and washing our noodle bowls by this afternoon!
Give Dad three breaths!”
TAP—BOOM!
Channeling all 12,000 pounds of his flaw-free Rank 2 Peak , at Half-Step Martial Grandmaster, physical force into the soles of his boots. Gu Changsheng kicked off the flagstones so fast his gray traveling coat left a blur of afterimages!
Dodging effortlessly between two sweeping four-thousand-pound stone arms without spilling a single drop from the soup thermos at his waist. Gu Changsheng leaped twenty feet straight onto the vertical black face of the sixty-foot [Central Obsidian Control Obelisk]!
Step! Step! Step!
Digging the tips of his boots into the carved rune-grooves of the obsidian pillar with mountain-climbing precision. Gu Changsheng sprinted forty feet straight up the vertical stone surface in two heartbeats and slapped his left palm squarely over the pulsing crimson [Ancient Sky-Flame Golem Master Core]!
Inside the polished black crystal of the obelisk’s core, three concentric rings of ancient blood-red array script were spinning rapidly: [COMBAT MODE: INCINERATE ALL LIVING TARGETS].
Without wasting a single second, Gu Changsheng opened [Dad’s Care-Package Upgrade Box] directly against the obelisk’s master core and dropped three items into the glowing golden fusion slots:.
1. [The Ancient Sky-Flame Golem Master Core (Linked to 30x Rank 2 Peak Lava Golems)].
2. [Grandpa Fu’s Illustrated Frost-Pine Agricultural Plowing, Irrigation & Canteen Dishwashing Manual].
3. [Thirty Bolts of Heavy-Duty Pink Cotton Cloth & Yellow Bunny Embroidery Thread].
“System! Spend 20,000 Dad Points! Erase the ancient slaughter runes and fuse the ultimate Agricultural Tractor & Canteen Dishwasher Operating System into all thirty Lava-Rock Golems!”
HUMMMMMM—PING!
[ DING! 20,000 DAD POINTS DEDUCTED — RUIN OBELISK REPROGRAMMED! ]
* Output Matrix : [Rank 2 Perfection: The Gu Family Pink-Apron.
Geothermal Farm-Tractor & Dishwasher Core]!
* Bound Units : 30x Twelve-Foot [Rank 2 Peak Lava-Rock Golems]
(Designated: Agricultural & Kitchen Units #01-#30)
* New Directives:.
1. 100% Loyal to Gu Changsheng, Gu Nian, Su Nuannuan, & Peace.
Pharmacy Staff!
2. Adjustable Geothermal Foot-Warmers: Can lower body heat to a.
cozy 75 degrees indoors, or channel 200-degree warmth through.
their soles outdoors to thaw frozen northern farmland while.
pulling 10-share plows at 10 acres per hour!
3. Built-in Domestic Pride: Equipped with unbreakable [Rank 2.
Pink “I Love Farming & Dishwashing” Bunny Aprons], giant.
wire pot-scrubbers, and palm-leaf cooling fans!
FLASH—SHIIIIIING!
A blinding, joyful wave of pastel-pink and golden light erupted from the forty-foot mark of the obsidian obelisk, sweeping across the entire underground magma hall like a spring sunrise!
Down on the granite floor, all thirty twelve-foot, four-thousand-pound Rank 2 Peak Lava-Rock Golems froze mid-step!
The lead golem—whose boulder-sized fist had stopped six inches in front of nine-year-old Gu Nian’s cast-iron pencil case—blinked its burning red eye-sockets three times. The bloodthirsty crimson light inside its head dissolved into a warm, friendly, golden-amber glow!
*POP! POP! POP!
POP!*
With thirty simultaneous crisp snaps of spiritual cloth, thirty giant, custom-tailored bright pink cotton aprons—each twelve feet long. Embroidered with a smiling white bunny holding a giant radish. Stitched with bold golden characters reading [GU FAMILY MODEL FARM TRACTOR & DISHWASHER]—materialized neatly around the massive stone chests and waists of all thirty Lava-Rock Golems!
Even funnier, tucked neatly into the front kangaroo pocket of every golem’s giant pink bunny apron were a three-foot iron dish-sponge, a wooden agricultural measuring ruler, and a pair of woven palm-leaf cooling fans!
As the underground lava troughs along the walls automatically dimmed their scorching heat down to a pleasant, cozy warmth. All thirty twelve-foot obsidian giants pulled their stone feet together with a synchronized CLACK, placed their huge stone hands politely over their pink bunny aprons. Bowed at a crisp ninety-degree angle toward Gu Changsheng, Gu Nian, and Su Nuannuan!
Thirty deep, resonant stone voices boomed across the cavern in cheerful harmony:.
“GREETINGS... PRINCIPAL... GU!
GREETINGS... LITTLE... PRESIDENT...
NIAN... AND... LITTLE...
MONITOR... NUANNUAN! AGRICULTURAL...
AND... CANTEEN... UNITS...
ONE... THROUGH... THIRTY...
REPORTING... FOR... CHORES!”
“PLEASE... ASSIGN... TODAY’S...
PLOWING... WEEDING... OR...
DISHWASHING... QUOTA!”
Flipping gracefully down from the forty-foot obelisk to land beside his children without disturbing a single fold of his coat. Twenty-nine-year-old Gu Changsheng clapped his hands clean and grinned at the stunned faces of Auntie Qin, Grandpa Fu, and Grandpa Yao:.
“See? I told you they just needed proper work uniforms and a clear job description.”
For three full seconds, three-hundred-and-eighty-year-old Grandpa Yao stared out of the [Jade-Turtle Plush Doll]’s collar with his tiny gold spectacles hanging crookedly off one plush ear:.
“By the Nine Heavens... Patriarch Gu, those thirty Rank 2 Peak Lava-Rock Golems were forged three centuries ago by the Sky-Flame Sect to incinerate invading armies! And with a single slap on the obelisk, you put all thirty of them into giant pink bunny aprons and turned them into polite farm hands?!”
“Whaaaa! Look at the big stone uncles in their pink bunny aprons!” seven-year-old Su Nuannuan cheered.
Running fearlessly up to the twelve-foot-tall Unit #01 and patting the giant white cloth bunny stitched onto the bottom of its apron.
“Big Stone Uncle, your pink apron matches Uncle Scar’s and Nuannuan’s dress! Can you bend down so Nuannuan can put a dandelion flower on your pocket?”
“AFFIRMATIVE... LITTLE... MISS...
NUANNUAN!”
Twelve-foot-tall Golem Unit #01 knelt carefully on one massive stone knee so he wouldn’t shake the floor, lowered his huge obsidian chest to the seven-year-old girl’s eye level. Curved the rough stone crevices of his mouth upward into a clumsy, endearing rock-smile as Nuannuan tucked a fresh yellow winter dandelion into his apron buttonhole!
And over on the right, sixty-two-year-old Grandpa Fu rushed up to Golem Unit #02, tapped its four-foot-wide stone shoulders with his black-iron abacus. Nearly wept with administrative rapture as the beads on his abacus flew like lightning:.
“Young Master! Look at the traction power on these thirty stone brothers! Each one has Rank 2 Peak strength of ten thousand pounds, never sleeps, never eats a single grain of oats, and radiates mild underground heat through its soles to thaw frozen northern soil!
Thirty golems pulling ten-share iron plows can till three hundred acres of frozen wasteland every single hour! By next week, our Frost-Pine Town and Azure-Cloud Prefecture will have forty thousand acres of spring barley and medicinal herbs planted two months ahead of schedule!”
“Before we put them to work plowing forty thousand acres, Uncle Fu, let’s test their picnic hospitality first,” Gu Changsheng laughed. Unstrapping his [Rank 3 Nine-Flavor Earth-Fire Chef Wok] and pointing toward the natural magma vent in the center of the flagstones.
“Unit #01 and Unit #02, use your palm-leaf fans to circulate fresh mountain air from the upper chimney vents so the hall stays at a crisp seventy degrees! Unit #03, wash and slice one of the twenty-pound chilled watermelons into seedless triangles on clean lotus leaves for the kids! And Units #04 through #30, line up along the walls and practice the Frost-Pine Road-Paving Song while Dad sets up the noon hot-pot!”
“COMMAND... RECEIVED! COMMENCING...
PICNIC... SUPPORT!”
Moving with hilarious, earth-shaking domestic enthusiasm, twelve-foot-tall Golem Unit #03 walked over to the mountain-spring water barrel. Scrubbed its massive obsidian hands with lemon soap for a full sixty seconds until they gleamed like polished black jade. Lifted the twenty-pound striped watermelon out of the ice-bucket!
Extending a razor-thin heated stone fingernail, the twelve-foot Lava Golem sliced the giant watermelon into twenty-four symmetrical. Seedless red triangles in three seconds flat, arranged them in a blooming lotus pattern on a chilled porcelain platter. Knelt on one knee in its pink bunny apron to present the tray to nine-year-old Gu Nian and seven-year-old Su Nuannuan:.
“CHILLED... WATERMELON... SERVED!
ZERO... SEEDS... DETECTED!
PLEASE... ENJOY... LITTLE...
PRESIDENT... NIAN... AND...
LITTLE... MONITOR... NUANNUAN!”
“Thank you, Uncle Rock Number Three!” seven-year-old Su Nuannuan beamed. Picking up a sweet, icy red slice of watermelon with both small hands and taking a big bite before holding a smaller slice down for Little Snowball.
“Dad!
Uncle Rock Number Three took out every single black watermelon seed! He cuts fruit almost as neatly as you do!”
“Not bad at all for a three-hundred-year-old volcano guardian,” twenty-nine-year-old Gu Changsheng nodded approvingly. Pulling a roll of [Little Red Flower Stickers] from his apron pocket and sticking a bright red paper flower right onto the front bib of Golem Unit #03’s pink bunny apron! “Here’s your first Little Red Flower for seedless fruit presentation, Unit #03!”
The instant that [Little Red Flower Sticker] touched the twelve-foot Lava Golem’s pink apron, the golden-amber light inside Unit #03’s stone eye-sockets flared twice as bright. The four-thousand-pound giant let out a booming rumble of pure mechanical joy:.
“LITTLE... RED... FLOWER...
ACQUIRED! WORK... EFFICIENCY...
INCREASED... BY... TWENTY...
PERCENT!”
Seeing Unit #03 receive a Little Red Flower Sticker, the other twenty-nine twelve-foot Lava-Rock Golems standing around the hall immediately straightened their stone spines, adjusted their pink bunny aprons. Looked at Gu Changsheng with eager, glowing amber eyes:.
“PRINCIPAL... GU! UNITS...
FOUR... THROUGH... THIRTY...
ALSO... REQUEST... CHORES...
TO... EARN... LITTLE...
RED... FLOWERS!”
“Hahaha! Look at these thirty stone giants competing for primary-school stickers!” three-hundred-and-eighty-year-old Grandpa Yao laughed so hard inside his [Jade-Turtle Plush Doll] that he had to hold his round green belly with both flippers.
“If the ancient Sky-Flame Sect Founder woke up from his coffin today and saw his thirty unstoppable war-golems begging for Little Red Flowers.
Slicing seedless watermelon in pink bunny aprons, he’d faint right back into his grave!”
“Everyone will get a chance to earn a Little Red Flower tomorrow when we plow the forty thousand acres of frozen farmland outside Azure-Cloud Prefecture City,” sixty-two-year-old Grandpa Fu promised briskly. Walking down the line of thirty bowing golems with his black-iron abacus and recording each unit’s serial number in his household staff ledger.
“Any tractor unit that plows ten acres an hour with straight furrows and zero trampled turnips gets two Little Red Flowers at the end of the week!”
“LONG... LIVE... STEWARD...
FU! LONG... LIVE...
THE... GU... FAMILY!”
Within thirty seconds, while eighteen-year-old Lin Fan sat outside in the scorching canyon sun getting bitten by poisonous mosquitoes. Dreaming of the Gu Family’s “fiery death,” the inside of the Grand Magma Hall was transformed into a breezy. Seventy-degree underground resort—where two twelve-foot pink-aproned Lava Golems gently fanned nine-year-old Gu Nian and seven-year-old Su Nuannuan with giant palm leaves.
Serving them platter after platter of icy-sweet red watermelon!
Just as Gu Nian took a bite of his chilled watermelon, however, a soft. Crystalline chime echoed from a pair of thirty-foot-tall frosted blue ice-stone doors at the far rear of the. Cavern—and the nine-year-old boy’s eyes turned immediately toward the inner sanctum where his mother’s [Frost-Phoenix Jade Hairpin] was waiting.
“Eat a hot lunch first, Nian’er,” Gu Changsheng said warmly, setting his [Rank 3 Nine-Flavor Earth-Fire Chef Wok] over the glowing underground magma fissure in the center of the hall. “Once we finish our Earth-Core beef hot-pot so everyone’s meridians are at full strength, Dad will walk you right through those blue doors.”
[ DING! 30x RANK 2 PEAK LAVA GOLEMS CONVERTED TO FARM TRACTORS! ]
* Household Assets: +30x [Rank 2 Pink-Apron Geothermal Farm-Tractor.
& Canteen Dishwasher Golems] (300 Acres/Hour)!
* Inner Sanctum : Frosted Blue Ice Doors Located at Rear of Hall!
* Daily Income : +200,000 DP/day -> +210,000 DP/day!