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The Villain's Father Refuses to Die in Chapter 3
The Patriarch's Care-Package System
By Lord Screw Loose
- Chapters
- 1000
- Words
- 2.1M
- Free now
- 114
- Next free chapter
- November 8
- Chapters
- 1000
- Words
- 2.1M
- Free now
- 114
- Next free
- November 8
114 of 1000 chapters free · 2 more unlock every day · Read ahead with a 7-day free trial
- Chapters
- 1000
- Words
- 2.1M
- Free now
- 114
- Next free
- November 8
Waking up bound to the execution post in Chapter 3 of a tragedy cultivation novel, Gu Changsheng activates the Dad's Care-Package System—smashing the execution warrant, raising five future-villain children with warm meals and iron discipline, and derailing every Chosen One's script across the cosmos.
Lord Screw Loose
33 novels · comedic LitRPG, cultivation, progression fantasy and a few darker stories
Chapters
1000 chapters · 10 seasons
Season 1 · 100 chapters
Refusing to Die in Chapter 3
Chapter 1
Two Hours Before the Execution
Chapter 2
Full-Belly Chaos-Bone Noodles
Chapter 3
The Seven-Wolves Disciplinary Belt
Chapter 4
Grandpa Fu's Five-Hundred-Silver Gate Bill
Chapter 5
Testing Dad With a Bowl of Broth
Chapter 6
The Laxative Radish & The Tomb Trap
Chapter 7
The Chosen One Eats the Turnip Raw
Chapter 8
Crushing the Blood-Corpse & Stealing the Tomb Jade
Chapter 9
The Heated Kang Bed & Bunny Slippers
Chapter 10
The First Little Red Flower & The 10x Jackpot
Chapter 11
The Scripted Tragedy Next Door
Chapter 12
Catching the Saint With His Hand in the Teacup
Chapter 13
Making the Chosen One Drink His Own Poison
Chapter 14
Auntie Qin's Three-Year Cold-Furnace Backlash
Chapter 15
One Bowl Melts the Ice & Unlocks Rank 2
Chapter 16
The Corrupt Alchemist Guild Inspector Arrives Early
Chapter 17
Upgrading Ditch Dandelions Into Divine Gummy Bears
Chapter 18
Bunny-Slipper Slingshot vs. Midnight Arsonists
Chapter 19
The Ten-Copper Gummy Bear Stampede
Chapter 20
Taking Over the Pill Hall & The Auction Invitation
Chapter 21
Spoiling the Ring-Grandpa's Best Tip
Chapter 22
The Pre-Auction Night-Soil Bucket Swap
Chapter 23
Fusing the Rank 3 Nine-Flavor Earth-Fire Chef Wok
Chapter 24
Bidding Up the Painted Chamber Pot
Chapter 25
Ten Thousand Silver for Lot 88
Chapter 26
The Great Skunk-Juice Explosion in the Auction Hall
Chapter 27
The Second Branch Mansion Mutiny
Chapter 28
Recruiting Eighty-Four Clan Staff in One Hour
Chapter 29
Bunny-Slipper Trip & The Patriarch Seal
Chapter 30
Second Elder Scrubs the Pigsties & The Red Alert
Chapter 31
Fifteen Minutes Before the Centipede Jar
Chapter 32
Hugging the Poison Girl Barehanded
Chapter 33
Fusing Lethal Miasma Into Sweet Honey-Candy Aroma
Chapter 34
Leaving a Hornet Hive in the Jar for Lin Fan
Chapter 35
Hiding Biscuits in Her Sleeve & Big Brother Gu Nian
Chapter 36
Eating the Scorpion Gang's Poison Smoke Like Cotton Candy
Chapter 37
One Sneeze Melts Eighty Steel Sabers
Chapter 38
Eighty Poison-Gang Gardeners in Pink Aprons
Chapter 39
The Pink Healing Watering Can & Saving the Orphans
Chapter 40
Two Redeemed Final Bosses & The 10x Double Bonus
Chapter 41
The Disgusted Alchemist Trapped in the Ring
Chapter 42
Nightly Soul-Mending Roast Chicken Under the Window
Chapter 43
The Midnight Ghost Who Steals Drumsticks
Chapter 44
The 59-Warmth Tsundere Pill Sovereign
Chapter 45
Grandpa Yao Sabotages Lin Fan's Cauldron
Chapter 46
Sewing the Rank 3 Jade-Turtle Plush Doll
Chapter 47
Lin Fan Reaches for the Kids' Puppy
Chapter 48
The Ring-Grandpa Empties the Ring & Moves Out!
Chapter 49
Slapped by a Plush Turtle Flipper
Chapter 50
Grandpa Yao's Velvet Bed & The Mercenary Drumbeats
Chapter 51
The Berserk Blood-Wolf Stampede Plot
Chapter 52
Gu Nian Reaches Rank 2 In His Bunny Apron
Chapter 53
Two Grade-Schoolers at the Town Gate
Chapter 54
Bunny-Apron Sweep & Black-Licorice Sneeze
Chapter 55
Spanking the Mercenary Warlord in Midair
Chapter 56
Five Hundred Pink "Good Citizen" Chore Aprons
Chapter 57
Mercenaries Build the Frost-Pine Elementary School
Chapter 58
Grandpa Yao's Spice-Rack Spirit-Gourd & First Day of School
Chapter 59
Five Hundred Pink-Apron Uncles Guard the Crosswalk!
Chapter 60
Twelve Thousand Citizens & The Prefecture Tournament Invite
Chapter 61
The Rigged Tournament & The Sugar-Painting Trophy
Chapter 62
Registering Two Grade-Schoolers Against 18-Year-Olds
Chapter 63
Round One — "Big Brother, Your Shoelace Is Untied!"
Chapter 64
Round Two — Nuannuan's Sour-Plum Lollipop Knockouts
Chapter 65
The Gu Family Snack Stand Wins the Prefecture Crowd
Chapter 66
Exposing Deputy Magistrate Zhou's Nail Trap
Chapter 67
Nine-Year-Old Demon Bone vs. Forbidden Blood Art
Chapter 68
Arresting the Corrupt Deputy & Lin Fan's Escape
Chapter 69
Rock-Paper-Scissors for the Grand Finals
Chapter 70
Gold Star Stickers & The Secret Realm Trap
Chapter 71
The Secret of Mom's Disappearance
Chapter 72
Walking Straight Into the Lava-Golem Trap
Chapter 73
Reprogramming Thirty Lava Golems Into Farm Tractors
Chapter 74
Boiling Magma Hot-Pot While Lin Fan Gets Bitten by Mosquitoes
Chapter 75
The Sword Empress's Chamber & The Script Surveillance Eye
Chapter 76
Mom's Eight-Year-Old Lullaby & The Spatula Smash
Chapter 77
Dad's Oath & Breaking Into Rank 3 Martial Grandmaster!
Chapter 78
Lin Fan Opens the Ruin Door to Thirty Tractors!
Chapter 79
The Lava-Golem Agricultural Revolution
Chapter 80
Upgrading the Hairpin Compass & The 5% Halo Backlash
Chapter 81
Extreme Karmic Bad Luck Hits the Chosen One
Chapter 82
Beating the Grievance Drum at the Prefecture High Court
Chapter 83
Thirty Lava Golems Quietly Swap the Array Stones
Chapter 84
Star Witness #1 — Auntie Qin & The Reformed Second Elder
Chapter 85
Star Witness #2 — Grandpa Yao Pops Out of the Plush Turtle!
Chapter 86
Playing the Ring's High-Definition Memory Crystal
Chapter 87
Clear-Sky Lightning Strikes Lin Fan's Pants to 0% Halo!
Chapter 88
Opening the Golden Plot-Defiance Chest!
Chapter 89
Sentence — One Hundred Years of Pig-Manure Duty
Chapter 90
The Family Feast & The Shadow from the Capital
Chapter 91
The Royal Capital Envoy Arrives in the Sky
Chapter 92
Three Thousand Guards vs. The Pink-Apron Security Brigade
Chapter 93
Envoy Zhao Aims a Rank 4 Lightning Spear at the Kids
Chapter 94
Both Kids Break Through to Rank 3 Martial Grandmaster!
Chapter 95
Gu Changsheng Reaches Rank 3 Peak & Father's Authority!
Chapter 96
One Spatula Slaps the Envoy Out of the Sky!
Chapter 97
Three Thousand Capital Guards Kneel for Pork Noodles
Chapter 98
Uncovering the 100-Year Regressor Second Prince!
Chapter 99
Emergency Red Alert — Ten Days to Save Child #3 (Ye Xiao)!
Chapter 100
Fusing the Armored Spirit-Ox Family RV & Rolling to the Capital!
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