BANG!
Up on the high judicial dais of the Azure-Cloud Prefecture High Court, fifty-two-year-old Prefecture Lord Qin Zheng , at Rank 3 Mid Martial Grandmaster. Brought his heavy ironwood judicial gavel down onto the sounding block with such resounding force that the entire square hushed at once!
Thirty thousand citizens leaned forward across the sunlit plaza. Looking up at the scorched soot crater on the top marble step. Eighteen-year-old Lin Fan [Rank 0 Crippled Mortal, Luck Halo: 0.0%] sat shivering in his singed red-and-white polka-dot underpants with a two-foot puff of charred dandelion hair smoking on his head.
Rising to his full height in his purple-and-gold judicial robes. Prefecture Lord Qin Zheng unrolled the scarlet imperial sentencing scroll and spoke in a voice that rolled like thunder across all four districts of Azure-Cloud Prefecture City:.
“Hear ye! By the authority of the Great Qian Imperial Code and the High Court of Azure-Cloud Prefecture. The culprit Lin Fan is found guilty on all counts: striking the Imperial Grievance Drum with fabricated slanders.
Poisoning Chief Physician Qin Wan’er, conspiring to traffic and murder seven-year-old Su Nuannuan, abusing the remnant soul of Pill Sovereign Yao Chen. Burying a forbidden demonic blood-sacrifice array beneath the High Court Plaza in an attempt to murder thirty thousand innocent citizens!”
Glaring down at the trembling, toothless eighteen-year-old in the soot crater, Prefecture Lord Qin Zheng continued coldly:.
“Under wartime felony statutes, such monstrous crimes carry the sentence of immediate execution! However, in light of the fact that the heavens themselves have already struck Lin Fan with clear-sky lightning and permanently crippled his dantian to Rank 0—and. Patriarch Gu Changsheng of the Gu Clan has submitted a merciful request that the culprit be.
Used for public agricultural labor rather than wasting a good blade—this Court hereby pronounces the final sentence!”
At the words stays the execution, a tiny, pathetic glimmer of hope flickered in Lin Fan’s soot-ringed eye—until Prefecture Lord Qin Zheng read the next line of the scroll:.
“The culprit Lin Fan is hereby stripped of all civic rank, fined every copper coin to his name. Sentenced to One Hundred Years of Unpaid Hard Labor as Trainee Pig-Manure Shoveler #01 in the Gu Clan Ecological Hog-Breeding Division, under the strict round-the-clock supervision of Chief Supervisor Gu Ba!”
“ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SHOVELING PIG MANURE?!”
Across the plaza, thirty thousand citizens burst into thunderous cheers and applause!
“A hundred years of shoveling pig dung in a pink apron! That’s ten times more fitting than letting him off easy with a quick chop of the head!”
“NO! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHOVEL PIG MANURE!” eighteen-year-old Lin Fan wailed through his missing front teeth, clutching his charred dandelion hair in despair.
“I was supposed to be an immortal genius!
You can’t put me in a pigsty for a hundred years!”
SMACK-CLACK!
Before Lin Fan could finish howling, fifty-two-year-old Second Elder Gu Ba [Warmth: 74/100] stepped forward in his wooden clogs. Rapped his cedar hog-breeding clipboard sharply across the top of Lin Fan’s smoking dandelion hair!
“Quiet down in front of the judge, Trainee Pig-Boy #01!” Chief Supervisor Gu Ba barked with the stern, no-nonsense authority of a veteran farm foreman. Reaching into his own pink apron pocket and pulling out a spare, extra-small bright-pink cotton apron stamped in bold black ink with the words:.
[GU CLAN PIGSTY — PROBATIONARY MANURE-SHOVELER #01 (ZERO BONUS TIER)]
With a practiced flick of his plump wrists. Gu Ba slipped the bright-pink probation apron over Lin Fan’s soot-blackened head and tied it in a tight double-knot behind his back right over his red polka-dot underpants!
“Listen up, Trainee Lin!” Gu Ba lectured, tapping his cedar clipboard against his palm while Prize Piglet Little Flower oinked approvingly under his arm. “Don’t think shoveling manure in the Gu Clan Ecological Hog Division is a vacation!
In our pigsties, the hogs eat three hot meals of vitamin-enriched sweet-potato mash a day and sleep on heated geothermal stone floors—which means the pigs rank three levels higher than you!
Starting today, you wake up at four o’clock every morning, shovel forty wheelbarrows of pig manure into the fermentation pits before breakfast, scrub all two hundred hog troughs with lye soap. Recite the [Ten Rules of Honest Farm Labor] before you’re allowed a single bowl of coarse bran porridge! And if you leave a single speck of mud on Little Flower’s tail, you lose your turnip pickle at dinner!”
“Oink-oink-SQUEAK!” Little Flower wagged her ribboned tail and nipped playfully at Lin Fan’s soot-blackened ankle!
Weeping bitter, toothless tears as two burly Prefecture Bailiffs clipped a heavy iron farm-ankle-bell around his leg and handed him a six-foot wooden manure shovel. Eighteen-year-old Lin Fan was marched off toward the northern pig-carts behind Second Elder Gu Ba—officially ending his career. A “Chosen One” and beginning his century-long tenure at the very bottom of the Gu Family pigsty!
Watching Gu Ba march his new trainee away to the sound of thirty thousand cheering citizens, nine-year-old Gu Nian , at Rank 2 Peak. Seven-year-old Su Nuannuan , at Rank 2 Peak, exchanged bright, happy smiles at the base of the marble steps.
“Dad,” nine-year-old Gu Nian said softly, touching the warm [Frost-Phoenix Jade Hairpin] beneath his tunic, “Second Uncle Gu Ba really turned into a good farm supervisor. He didn’t even let Lin Fan skip the morning pig-trough scrubbing.”
“And Little Flower is going to be the cleanest piggy in the whole prefecture!” seven-year-old Su Nuannuan giggled, waving her little hand at the ribboned piglet.
Just then, up on the High Court terrace, twelve ceremonial bronze horns sounded a majestic three-note fanfare!
Fifty-two-year-old Prefecture Lord Qin Zheng , at Rank 3 Mid, accompanied by the sixty-year-old Prefecture Minister of Agriculture and the heads of the Five Great Merchant Guilds. Walked down all thirty-six white marble steps in person carrying a crimson velvet tray!
Resting upon the velvet tray were two items of the highest civic honor in Azure-Cloud Prefecture: a six-inch square seal carved from glowing blue [Thousand-Year Azure-Cloud Spirit Jade], and a golden-embroidered imperial warrant!
Stopping respectfully in front of twenty-nine-year-old Gu Changsheng, Prefecture Lord Qin Zheng bowed with both hands holding the velvet tray:.
“Patriarch Gu Changsheng! Over the past two months, your Gu Household has cured ten thousand winter patients at the Peace Pharmacy for pennies. Opened five branches of the [Frost-Pine Loving-Heart Canteen] to feed laborers and orphans at five coppers a bowl.
Tamed thirty ancient war-golems to plow forty thousand acres of spring barley for our farmers. Today protected thirty thousand citizens from a demonic blood-sacrifice plot!”
Lifting the glowing blue jade seal with both hands, Prefecture Lord Qin Zheng proclaimed to the entire square:.
“By joint decree of the Azure-Cloud Prefecture Yamen, the Ministry of Agriculture, and the Five Guilds, we hereby confer upon Patriarch Gu Changsheng , at Rank 3 Mid Martial Grandmaster. Chief Physician Qin Wan’er , at Rank 3 Early Martial Grandmaster. The supreme civic title of [Benevolent Honorary Protectors of Azure-Cloud Prefecture]—with full tax exemption across all twelve counties and diplomatic authority equal to the Prefecture Lord himself!”
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!
All thirty thousand citizens in the plaza—joined by another two thousand townspeople cheering from the rooftops and balconies along Central Avenue—clapped and shouted at the top of their lungs:.
“LONG LIVE PROTECTOR GU! LONG LIVE DOCTOR QIN! LONG LIVE LITTLE BROTHER NIAN AND LITTLE SISTER NUANNUAN!”
Accepting the warm [Azure-Cloud Protector Jade Seal] with a polite bow. Twenty-four-year-old Auntie Qin smiled beside him with rosy cheeks and sixty-two-year-old Grandpa Fu furiously clicked his black-iron abacus to calculate their twelve-county tax savings. Twenty-nine-year-old Gu Changsheng lifted seven-year-old Su Nuannuan onto his left arm and held nine-year-old Gu Nian’s hand with his right.
Stepping forward to the edge of the marble stairs so all thirty thousand neighbors across the square could see him and the children clearly. Twenty-nine-year-old Gu Changsheng raised the glowing blue [Azure-Cloud Protector Jade Seal] in his hand and spoke in his warm, steady voice:.
“Neighbors of Azure-Cloud Prefecture and Frost-Pine Town! When my kids and I first opened our little soup stall and pharmacy, we didn’t do it for jade seals or grand titles—we did it. Every child in our twelve counties deserves to go to school with a full belly, every farmer deserves warm boots in the spring fields.
Every grandmother deserves medicine she can afford with ten copper coins!”
Pointing toward the thirty twelve-foot pink-aproned Lava Golems standing proudly beside their steaming breakfast carts around the square, Gu Changsheng smiled broadly:.
“As long as the Gu Household stands in Azure-Cloud Prefecture, the price of a bowl of hot mutton soup at the [Loving-Heart Canteen] will remain five coppers. The price of [Cold-Dispelling Spirit Gummies] at the [Peace Pharmacy] will remain ten coppers. Our thirty Pink-Apron Golem Tractors will plow every widow’s and orphan’s field free of charge!
And if any corrupt sect elder or royal envoy from outside our prefecture ever tries to bully our twelve counties—he’ll have to answer to my kitchen wok first!”
The roar of gratitude and devotion that rose from thirty thousand throats shook the spring clouds overhead. Driving the regional Warmth Index across all twelve counties of Azure-Cloud Prefecture to an unprecedented 88% (Absolute Devotion) and pushing the number of qualified citizens past 40,000!
Even the five hundred reformed [Pink-Apron Security Uncles] led by Guard Captain One-Ear Scar beat their wooden shields in proud cadence along the avenue. Elderly farmers wiped joyful tears from their eyes as they watched nine-year-old Gu Nian and seven-year-old Su Nuannuan wave from beside their father.
Up on the judicial dais, three-hundred-and-eighty-year-old Grandpa Yao [Warmth: 92/100] hopped off the gavel block in his two-foot [Jade-Turtle Plush Doll] body. Glided down the marble balustrade into nine-year-old Gu Nian’s waiting arms. Adjusted his miniature gold spectacles with a satisfied sigh:.
“Patriarch Gu, look at that golden sea of civic goodwill! In the old days, when those arrogant Immortal Sect elders visited a mortal prefecture city, they demanded ten thousand silver taels in tribute and left the people shivering in fear. Yet your Gu Household handed out five-copper mutton soup, ten-copper healing gummies, and free spring plowing—and now forty thousand citizens across twelve counties treat your family as their own flesh and blood!”
“That’s because a house built on fear collapses the first time a storm blows through, Grandpa Yao,” twenty-nine-year-old Gu Changsheng smiled. Scratching the top of the plush turtle’s green velvet shell with one finger while sixty-two-year-old Grandpa Fu carefully placed the [Azure-Cloud Protector Jade Seal] into a silk-lined cedar box. “A house built on full bellies, warm winter coats, and neighbors who look out for each other’s kids can weather any storm—even one blowing in from the Royal Capital.”
Beside him, twenty-four-year-old Auntie Qin , at Rank 3 Early Martial Grandmaster, glanced toward the bustling square. The thirty twelve-foot pink-aproned Lava Golems were already ladling out bowls of steaming ginger-mutton broth to the elderly citizens in the front rows:.
“Master Changsheng, Lord Qin and the Five Guilds have set up three hundred celebration tables along Central Avenue for the townspeople this afternoon—and back in our courtyard kitchen. The sixty pounds of [Pearl-Dragon Spirit Rice] and the [500-Year Snow-Heart Lotus] petals we brought back from the canyon have finished soaking in spring water.”
“Then let’s head home and fire up the [Rank 3 Nine-Flavor Earth-Fire Chef Wok],” Gu Changsheng grinned. His right hand resting lightly on the solar-brass handle of his newly won [Father’s Golden Spatula of True Discipline]. “It’s time to test out our new [All-Family Shared Cultivation Link] over dinner!”
[ DING! HONORARY PROTECTOR OF AZURE-CLOUD PREFECTURE BESTOWED! ]
* Lin Fan’s Fate : Sentenced to 100 Years of Unpaid Pig-Manure.
Duty under Chief Supervisor Gu Ba!
* Official Title : [Benevolent Honorary Protector of Azure-Cloud.
Prefecture] [40,000+ Citizens at 88% Warmth]!
* Daily Income : +380,000 DP/day -> +385,000 DP/day!
“Alright, everyone!” Gu Changsheng’s warm, smiling voice carried across the cheering plaza as the thirty pink-aproned Lava Golems opened the lids of their steaming soup-cauldrons around the square. “Today’s noon noodles and braised pork buns at all five Loving-Heart Canteens are on the house—and tonight, our family is cooking [Eight-Treasure Phoenix-Marrow Rice] with Dad’s new golden spatula!”