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Stellar Slacker: I Thought This Was an Idle Game! • Ch. 92
Stellar Slacker: I Thought This Was an Idle Game!Arc 4

Chapter 092: The Void Pirate Armada

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Sixty miles south of the Radiant Dawn Academy, the sky did not belong to scholars, righteous spellblades, or imperial magistrates.

It belonged to the predators of the Abyssal Rim.

Drifting through the boiling, violet fog of the lower cloud trenches was a flotilla of eighty void corsair skiffs.

These were not clumsy merchant galleons or gilded imperial pleasure barges laden with velvet cushions. They were narrow, predatory hunting vessels fashioned from cured ironwood and ribbed with the black leviathan bones of deep-trench beasts.

Every hull was coated in dark squid-tar to swallow the morning glare. Their jagged outriggers bristled with barbed harpoons, heavy siege ballistas, and alchemical fire-pots ready to ignite at a moment's notice.

Mounted beneath each keel was a pulsing Nether-Quartz propulsion crystal.

The stolen abyssal engines hummed with a low, predatory drone, holding the eighty raiders in tight wedge formation as they skimmed the cloud ceiling.

At the prow of the lead vessel, the *Bone-Render*, stood Dread-Commodore Kaelen the Flayer.

Kaelen was a mountain of scarred muscle draped in mantles of pelagic drake scales. Two jagged blood-sabers hung across his broad chest, and his left eye had been replaced by a glowing ruby sight-lens salvaged from a sunken imperial war-frigate.

For twelve years, Kaelen had terrorized the southern shipping lanes.

He had plundered thirty-two floating trade-ports, burned three minor noble fortresses, and sent four imperial enforcement squadrons screaming into the bottomless abyss.

He feared neither the laws of the mortal empires nor the wrath of righteous sects. To Kaelen, righteousness was merely a convenient excuse used by weak men who lacked the stomach for pillage.

Beside him, First Mate Skarr lowered an antique brass spyglass, his scaly brow furrowed in deep suspicion.

"Commodore," Skarr rasped, spitting a wad of bitter black tobacco over the rail. "Look at the northern quadrant. The readings on the navigational compass have been spinning like mad hornets since dawn."

Kaelen squinted through his ruby sight-lens.

High above the horizon, where the pristine floating spires of the Radiant Dawn Academy anchored into the sky, the clouds were not their normal pale silver.

They were glowing.

Curtains of rich, golden auroras cascaded between the jagged mountain peaks like rippling silk. Warm, radiant thermal updrafts pushed through the cloud layer, carrying the faint, intoxicating scent of roasted wheat and sweet caramel.

Even from sixty miles away, the ambient barometric pressure was shifting. The harsh, biting chill of the upper sky felt completely tempered, replaced by a gentle, balmy warmth that confused the void-wyrms swimming beneath the ships.

Kaelen rubbed his stubbled jaw, his mechanical eye whirring softly as it measured the atmospheric flux.

"Thermal bloom," Kaelen muttered, his lips peeling back from yellowed fangs. "Pure, concentrated solar mana leaking into the upper troposphere. What do the scouts report from the outer trading posts?"

Skarr pulled a blood-stained parchment slip from his leather coat.

"Our informants in the lower markets intercepted an imperial emergency decree," Skarr whispered, a wicked grin spreading across his scarred face. "The entire academy has locked down under martial silence. No bells. No drum-towers. Disciples are forbidden from flying swords or speaking above eight decibels."

Kaelen paused. He tilted his head back and let out a harsh, rasping bark of laughter.

"Martial silence?" Kaelen scoffed, shaking his head with savage delight. "Eight decibels? Those pompous, silk-robed hypocrites aren't preparing for war. They're nursing a corpse!"

Skarr chuckled, leaning against the bone railing. "You think their old ancestors finally blew their cores?"

"Think? I know it!" Kaelen slammed a massive, gauntleted fist against the gunwale. "Those ancient bastards have been hoarding spirit pills in their sealed grottos for three centuries. When a thousand-year grandmaster suffers Qi-deviation, their dantian breaks like an overcooked boiler! Their mana bleeds out into the clouds—hence the golden sky!"

He pointed a thick claw toward the rippling golden auroras.

"They ordered silence because their dying elders can't take the vibration," Kaelen growled, his ruby eye flaring with insatiable greed. "A single loud shout would shatter their cracked meridians into gravel! They are paralyzed, terrified, and helpless!"

The bridge crew of the *Bone-Render* erupted in guttural laughter.

Steersmen, deckhands, and harpooners brandished their notched cutlasses, grinning at the prospect of easy slaughter.

"And their vaults?" Skarr asked, his breath coming faster. "Ten thousand years of academy tribute. Star-jade, primordial herbs, heaven-grade armaments..."

"All sitting there behind unlocked doors," Kaelen sneered. "Their younger disciples are cowards who have never seen real blood. Their senior masters are coughing up their own lungs in bed. It is the greatest plunder the Abyssal Rim has ever witnessed!"

Kaelen spun around to face the fleet's blood-communication shell mounted on the quarterdeck.

The twisted conch shell was forged from abyssal coral and linked to the bridge of every skiff in the flotilla.

He struck the shell with the flat of his saber:

*CLANG.*

A telepathic broadcast link opened instantly across all eighty corsair skiffs. Eighty cutthroat captains snapped their attention to their command pedestals.

"Listen well, dogs of the void!" Kaelen's voice boomed through the psychic channels. "The Radiant Dawn Academy has gone soft and rotten! Their skies are bleeding gold, and their masters are dead on their feet! Today, we bleed their vaults dry!"

A roar of bloodthirsty cheers echoed faintly through the communication shell.

"Captain Vane here from the *Iron-Fang*," a harsh voice crackled over the link. "What about their perimeter wards? The Radiant Dawn's grand barrier has held off demonic beast hordes for seven hundred years!"

"The grand barrier requires six grandmasters channeling spiritual stones in continuous unison," Kaelen answered with a cruel sneer. "With their elders choking on backfired qi, the barrier is running on fumes! But we aren't foolish enough to ram their front gates head-on."

Skarr unrolled a sheepskin navigational chart across the capstan.

【Target: Corsair Sheepskin Raid Map】 【Route Target: Solitude Spire (The Seventh Spire)】 【Target Difficulty Rating: Supposedly 'Defenseless Abandoned Ridge'】 【Inspector Note: Catastrophically flawed tactical intel. Corsairs are deliberately plotting a course straight into personal front yard of a thermonuclear god. Darwin Award nomination pending.】

"Commodore," Skarr said, pointing a finger at the southern fringe. "Where do we breach? The First Spire and the Blade Spire still have heavy perimeter ballistas manned by acolyte guards."

Kaelen leaned over the map, his ruby eye locking onto an isolated, jagged outcropping of stone separated from the main cluster by a three-mile cloud gorge.

It was the Seventh Spire.

"Solitude Spire," Kaelen sneered, tapping the parchment with his dirty fingernail. "Look at it. Completely abandoned. It's the academy's historical junk heap. No defensive towers. No barrier array. Crumbling masonry, overgrown pine trees, and a lone wooden suspension bridge connecting it to the main grounds."

Skarr squinted at the map, rubbing his chin. "An open back door."

"An unguarded slaughterhouse," Kaelen corrected with a cruel smirk. "We drop below the cloud deck. We slip eighty skiffs straight into the Seventh Spire's blind spot. We butcher whichever pathetic exile is squatting in the weeds, anchor our ships to their rocky ledges, and establish our siege ballistas on their porch."

He leaned in closer, his voice dropping into a sinister hiss that carried across the deck.

"From Solitude Spire, we cross the wooden bridge straight into the soft belly of the academy. By the time their terrified elders realize the alarm bells aren't ringing, their heads will already be on our pikes!"

"Brilliant, Commodore," Skarr laughed, cracking his knuckles. "Pure tactical genius!"

Over the psychic link, the other seventy-nine pirate captains broke into raucous laughter.

"I claim the Alchemical Crucible!" roared Captain Grak of the *Blood-Drinker*. "Ten barrels of celestial elixir for my crew!"

"I want the library scrolls!" cackled Captain Vorash of the *Grave-Wanderer*. "The forbidden arts of the First Epoch will fetch millions on the black markets of the Western Void!"

"Silence!" Kaelen barked, his voice snapping across the fleet like a whip. "You will get your shares after the peak is secured! Form up into three attack wedges! Tight formation, twenty paces between outriggers!"

He turned to the helmsman, his face grim and hungry.

"Engage stealth shrouds!" Kaelen bellowed. "Overclock the Nether-Quartz propulsion crystals to one hundred and twenty percent! Drop through the mist and follow my wake! We strike Solitude Spire first!"

Across the eighty corsair skiffs, black-clad crews sprang into frantic motion.

Heavy velvet shrouds dipped in shadow-wyrm oil unfurled along the masts, swallowing the ambient light and masking the outline of the vessels against the grey fog.

Down in the engine compartments, grease-covered goblins and half-orc engineers hammered lead wedges into the control conduits of the Nether-Quartz crystals.

The black crystals flared with violent, deep-purple luminescence.

The low hum deepened into a high-pitched, predatory whine. Anti-gravity lift surged through the hulls, tipping the prows downward at a steep forty-five-degree dive.

Eighty deadly predators plunged out of the Abyssal Rim.

They slipped through the cloud banks like a school of black sharks descending upon a wounded whale.

No running lights. No warning horns. Only eighty razor-sharp ironwood hulls cutting silently through the mountain thermals, their decks crammed with three thousand ruthless cutthroats holding poisoned blades and fire-bombs.

Up ahead, through the thinning mist, the jagged silhouette of Solitude Spire loomed into view.

Through his ruby lens, Kaelen could clearly see the dilapidated scene.

There were no shimmering barrier domes. There were no celestial grandmasters floating in mid-air. There were no defensive ballistas or rune-carved battlements.

There was only a rickety cedar cottage with moss-grown shingles.

There was an overgrown yard filled with wild clover and yellow dandelions.

A lone wooden suspension bridge spanned the three-mile gorge to the main academy, swaying gently in the mountain breeze.

And along the perimeter of the lawn, resting atop three crooked wooden fenceposts, stood three laughable, ragged scarecrows.

Kaelen lowered his spyglass, tears of contempt welling in his good eye.

"Look at that," Kaelen wheezed, pointing his saber at the peak. "Scarecrows! The great protectors of the Seventh Spire are three bags of dead straw on sticks!"

Skarr doubled over with laughter, slapping his thigh. "They're trying to ward off mountain sparrows! They don't even have a guard dog!"

"Fifty miles out!" Kaelen shouted, his voice ringing with savage triumph. "Steady your courses! Lock your harpoons! When we touch down, kill everything that breathes, burn the garden, and throw their straw dolls into the gorge!"

The eighty corsair skiffs tightened their wedge formation.

The purple hum of eighty Nether-Quartz propulsion crystals reached a fever pitch, tearing through the quiet sky at four hundred miles per hour.

They were eighty ruthless hunting hawks diving upon an open nest.

Directly below them, on the quiet cedar porch of Solitude Spire, a young man was finishing his breakfast toast, completely oblivious to the approaching storm.

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